I’m afraid of a lot of things, but I believe failure has always been my biggest fear. It’s funny because I could have nightmares of creepy little girls killing people gorily in mansions and chasing me without moving, but the scariest nightmares were of me failing an actual event in real life. And no, I don’t watch horror movies.
Failure has always loomed over me, as the thing that I wanted to avoid the most. So, I always played it safe. I focused on a few things that I knew with hard work I could just accomplish. I’m an overachiever and a perfectionist. I was the one carrying group projects to glory just so my grade would be perfect. But then, what happens when we actually experience failure?
The first thing to know is that, just because you might fail at something, it does not turn you into a failure.
That was mind blowing to me. That I could fail, but I was still myself, the world still kept on turning. I was traumatized over failure, I always have been. But this time it was different, this time I thought to myself, what could I accomplish, if I didn’t let the fear of failure hold me back?
My writing took a drastically different turn, I started writing with pure abandon and not questioning myself (which led to me entering a writing contest!) I started trying to learn animation with Autodesk Maya on my own again. But what if, I realized, what if the failure that I fear so badly has been the thing holding me back from my full potential? What if, all the self-criticism had me bound and wouldn’t let me progress where I need to go? What if fear, was my only true weakness?
Now it’s true, I’m not the greatest at everything. Especially not the things that I want to do with my life, but that just means I have to work harder. I have to want it more, I have to go after it with all the strength that I do have. This also requires me to learn to let go of what I have no control over, so I can put my effort towards what I can do.
Because at the end of the day, I’d rather have a long list of things that I failed at in trying to get better, instead of a long list of regrets for never even trying.
What are some things that fear has been holding you back from accomplishing? Let me know in the comments, if you’ve already overcome your fear, let me know about that too! We’re all in this together.