Understudy to Pain

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Pain is the lead

I am the understudy

I’ve learned all the lines

All the rules

Of how to live life

But when it comes time to take the stage

It is never my turn


I’m never in control

I feel prepared, I could take over

I could be the star

It’s not my time

I wait, I practice

Maybe today

Maybe tomorrow


It will be my time

For now, I am minor

I almost don’t exist

I am here, in the back

Silent, waiting

Letting the pain lead my days

Until I can step into the role

And live

How to Overcome Writer’s Block

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My writer’s block is actually just procrastination in a fancier form. Even though I feel better mentally after I write, the act of starting to write takes FOREVER! A lot of writers have this problem as well, so I decided to share what helps me to write when I feel like I’ve got absolutely nothing.

Just write. I know we hear this advice a lot, but it has changed my life. Even when you don’t know what on earth you could possibly write, just write it out. Maybe it won’t even make sense, maybe it will. Focus on writing frequently, no matter how you feel at the time, you can then make a healthy habit of continuing to write.

Set a time for writing and a time for distractions. For example, often when it’s time for me to write I’m all over social media. I find myself getting lost into YouTube videos I’m not even amused by. If distractions hold you up a lot, give yourself time for them, but not during your writing time! I usually take breaks after 15 minutes to a half an hour depending on how much I can get done during that time.

Have other projects. No matter what I do, usually when I’m about midway through a book I get burnout. I don’t write in it at all, I’m sick of it and I want to erase the whole thing and start over. Do not follow my crazy thinking. Having other projects on the side helps me not to obsess over a story or a novel that I just need a break from, I try to have a short story and a novel in progress at least. I’m very overactive and I love multi-tasking so I may have two novels and a short story going and I jump around from story to story depending on how the mood strikes me.

Find your ideal writing time. My best writing time is in the morning. It doesn’t mean I’m any more motivated to write then, but once I get in the flow early in the morning, it just keeps going. I can write until my fingers hurt and I need a break. I lose track of time and everything else and just let it go.

I know as writers we can easily get caught up in trying to make everything perfect, or working hard to make a career out of it, but let’s not forget the best part of writing. Love what you do and enjoy it!

What I Learned From Failure

Failure

I’m afraid of a lot of things, but I believe failure has always been my biggest fear. It’s funny because I could have nightmares of creepy little girls killing people gorily in mansions and chasing me without moving, but the scariest nightmares were of me failing an actual event in real life. And no, I don’t watch horror movies.

Failure has always loomed over me, as the thing that I wanted to avoid the most. So, I always played it safe. I focused on a few things that I knew with hard work I could just accomplish. I’m an overachiever and a perfectionist. I was the one carrying group projects to glory just so my grade would be perfect. But then, what happens when we actually experience failure?

The first thing to know is that, just because you might fail at something, it does not turn you into a failure.

That was mind blowing to me. That I could fail, but I was still myself, the world still kept on turning. I was traumatized over failure, I always have been. But this time it was different, this time I thought to myself, what could I accomplish, if I didn’t let the fear of failure hold me back?

My writing took a drastically different turn, I started writing with pure abandon and not questioning myself (which led to me entering a writing contest!) I started trying to learn animation with Autodesk Maya on my own again. But what if, I realized, what if the failure that I fear so badly has been the thing holding me back from my full potential? What if, all the self-criticism had me bound and wouldn’t let me progress where I need to go? What if fear, was my only true weakness?

Now it’s true, I’m not the greatest at everything. Especially not the things that I want to do with my life, but that just means I have to work harder. I have to want it more, I have to go after it with all the strength that I do have. This also requires me to learn to let go of what I have no control over, so I can put my effort towards what I can do.

Because at the end of the day, I’d rather have a long list of things that I failed at in trying to get better, instead of a long list of regrets for never even trying.

What are some things that fear has been holding you back from accomplishing? Let me know in the comments, if you’ve already overcome your fear, let me know about that too! We’re all in this together.

My First Public Writing

So I debated over this a TON. I’m very close with my writing. So close that I quietly write books with no intention of sharing most of them until I get better at writing. However, I decided in the meantime it was about time I start putting some of my writing out there, so here it is! I entered a fantasy writing contest (it’s totally free by the way if anyone else would like to join) and posted my complete fantasy story there. I’d appreciate a vote from you all, as only the top 10% of the voted will be judged. Every single vote counts! I’m so nervous about sharing things with the world, but I can’t write in the dark forever, right?

Check out my story here: My Real Imaginary Love

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