Change is something that I have had to come to terms with. I was never someone who was always happy even when things changed, I was very resistant to change. I would stay within the same friendships simply for fear of change. Toxic or not, I was a people pleaser so I would do whatever was necessary to avoid the change. I dreaded change. I liked things to be organized, I liked to know what was coming and when it was coming.
I had planned my life out neatly.
I would simply obsess over going to school, overachieve, get a great job, and rise up the ladder of whatever career I had chosen. I would rise quickly because I was a hard worker. I could do anything. But then my health changed.
I struggled and I resisted change because all I knew of it was that it was scary and whenever I felt well enough I kept trying to go back to my plans. I kept trying to reorganize my life. Now I recognize life for what it is, a messy disorganized journey that is forever changing.
Jobs change, people change, friendships change, life changes.
Pain changes, the pain stays, seasons come and go. Most importantly, I change. Every time I had to resign from a job I would cry and cry for weeks at least and even now I may still get teary-eyed if I dwell on it too long. Instead with my free time, I started writing again and creating art. I hope to one day open up a little Etsy shop when I have worked out more designs. I realized that while I was resisting and fighting the change, all of it really just resolved itself. I always wanted to be an artist, a writer, and a chef. That is exactly what I am right now. The pain slows me down and limits me some, but really it just makes me put my priorities in order and plan out my days carefully.
Did I get here in the way that I planned? No. Am I making a lot of money right now? Of course not! Change isn’t easy and things don’t work out perfectly by themselves, it takes time. And time is what I have right now, so I’m making the most of it.
Change happens whether we plan on it or not. Not all change is bad change, many changes are actually good. I’ve managed to start taking control of my life and making good changes, emotionally and physically. Sometimes you just have to do your best to look at the bright side and enjoy the day that you’re living right now. This day is full of possibilities. Take it slow and believe that everything will work out.
If you’re going through big or sudden changes in your life, it’s okay. Even when it’s seemingly bad things, just take it one day at a time. Everything happens for a reason and in time good changes will come about too.
Have you ever had a huge change in your life that you never thought you would recover from? Let me know in the comments below.